Ghost From the Past
by darktwistygirl
Summary: AU: After she catches her boyfriend cheating on her, Meredith Grey moves to Seattle and goes on a downward spiral, until she meets Derek Shepherd and embarks on a relationship that will change her forever
1. The Waiting One

**Content Warning**

**This story like I said on my profile contains graphic scenes of drug use and bulimia. For that reason this story is rated M. If this triggers or upsets you, I would consider not reading this story. For those of you still reading, all I can say is enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Even though I would like to, I do not own Grey's Anatomy.**

**Song: The Waiting One- All That Remains**

_I am the waiting one it seems  
Days grow somber quickly  
Now how the quiet is released  
and I feel so lonely_

After a long, stressful day teaching moody teenagers, Meredith Grey was driving back home that she shared with her boyfriend Kyle Sinclair. After a little over a year of dating, they just recently moved in with each other. "So far so good," she thought to herself as she pulled into the driveway.

Throwing her purse on the couch when she noticed a bra on the floor that was not hers. She followed the trail of clothes to her and Kyle's bedroom when she saw thong that was not hers. That was all the evidence she needed to prove the son of bitch she called a boyfriend was cheating on her.

She picked up the thong and then waited a few minutes before opening the door she walked in, pretending that nothing was wrong.

"Hey babe how was your day?" asked Kyle startled by Meredith walking in the door.

"Stressful, which became even more stressful after I found this thong by the bedroom door. A thong that I do not own," said Meredith holding up the thong so Kyle could see it.

"You could have left it out there, you know after last night."

"You would be right, if I had not picked up laundry this morning before I left. Admit it Kyle, you fucked some whore in our bed and I just found out about it. If I find this slut, I swear to God, there will be hell to pay."

"The girl in question, in fact is hiding in the bathroom. Shit, why did I just tell you that."

"To answer your question, because you are a dumbass," said Meredith before she turned and walked calmly to the bathroom.

_How did you think I would feel_

_Throw me aside again_

_How did you think I would feel_

_I won't let you hurt me again_

_Now I'm nothing to you I can see _

_Just walk away from me _

Before she walked in, she leaned against the wall and started to cry.

As this was going on, Lindsey DeWitt was in the bathroom hiding from Kyle's girlfriends rage. Her friends kept telling her that sleeping with a guy in a relationship was a bad idea and even she knew that, but she did it anyway. Preparing herself from the ass kicking she knew she would get, she left the bathroom. She noticed a girl crying by the door and assumed that it was Kyle's girlfriend. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to where Meredith was sitting and sat down and gave her a hug.

Meredith was sitting on the floor for no more than ten minutes when she felt someone hug her. She looked and assumed it was the whore that slept with Kyle. Her anger rising she broke the hug and slapped her before pinning her down and punching her in the face.

"Before you kill me can you give a chance to say my side of the story," said Lindsey. Meredith thought for a second and stood up allowing Lindsey to do the same.

"Can I ask you a few questions, what is your name and how long were you screwing my boyfriend."

"Lindsey DeWitt and about six months. We met at a club, I didn't know about you at the time. I was drunk and when I woke up completely hungover, I saw a photo of the two of you and confronted him. He admitted he had a girlfriend, but they were an on and off thing, which was why he kept the picture. I believed him, but I always had my suspicions. Today pretty much confirmed my suspicions."

Meredith didn't know how she felt, shocked, angry, and/or sad. After a few minutes she walked to her and Kyle's bedroom and started throwing his stuff into a garbage bag. When he asked what was doing, she said that she was done with the cheating and the lies and he had exactly an hour to pack his stuff and get the hell away from her.

After Lindsey ended things with Kyle, she left the house and Meredith was alone. Choosing the heartbroken option from her mixed emotions, she walked to the kitchen and took out a package of bologna, a package of turkey, leftover breadsticks, and some leftover pizza and wings, which she proceeded to eat. After she ate all of that she walked to the bathroom, stuck two fingers down her throat and pushed on her gag reflex in order to make everything come back up. After a little more than an hour everything was out of her stomach and she still felt empty and heartbroken so her walked to her room and found some old cocaine, which she hasn't touched since she was twenty. Now twenty-five and heartbroken, Meredith found a razor and cut the cocaine into four lines. Finding a dollar bill she rolled it up and snorted the first line into her nose, feeling the familiar euphoric rush she hadn't felt in years. She did another line and once the high wore off she went to bed. Sleep did not come that easy.

-gftp-

The next morning when her alarm went off, Meredith felt worse than she did before. She just wanted to sleep some more and do another line to ward off the crash, but she had a job to get to, a job she did not feel like going to. She saw two lines that she didn't do that night before and got up, but before she did that she picked her phone and called Principal Richard Webber to tell him that she was taking a vacation and to give her students their favorite substitute, the one that all the girls had a crush on. When she did that she cleaned up the kitchen and packed a suitcase deciding it was time for a change, as in goodbye Wilmington, hello Seattle.

_How could you do this to me._

_Betrayed by my closest friend_

_How could you do this to me_

_I won't let you hurt me again_

_I am the waiting one it seems_

**Should I keep going please leave a review.**


	2. Far From Home

**Content Warning**

**This story like I said on my profile contains graphic scenes of drug use and bulimia. For that reason this story is rated M. If this triggers or upsets you, I would consider not reading this story. For those of you still reading, all I can say is enjoy and review.**

**Disclaimer: Even though I would like to, I do not own Grey's Anatomy.**

**Song: Far From Home- Five Finger Death Punch**

_Another day in this carnival of souls_

_Another night settles in as quickly as it goes_

_The memories are shadows_

_Ink on the page_

_And I can't seem to find my way home_

After breaking up with Kyle and leaving Wilmington, Meredith somehow found herself driving though Iowa at six in the morning seeing semis on the distant horizon while in the process of pulling an all-nighter. Then again she did some cocaine in the bathroom of a gas station in Illinois and sleeping in a car is not comfortable.

Getting hungry she grabbed some cookies she made before she left, some pretzels, and stopped at Burger King for hash browns that look like tator tots and proceed to eat that very screwed up breakfast.

Stopping on the side of the road, she looked and after making sure that no one was around, she got out of her car and slid two fingers down her throat touching her gag reflex and emptied the contents of her stomach leading her to be hungrier than before, but she ignored it.

Finally after two days of driving, she arrived at her old house in Seattle. Walking into as usual an empty house she remembered the phone call she got a few months ago about her mother, the famous surgeon, Ellis Grey, being diagnosed with Alzheimer's and her giving the house to Meredith, if she ever planned to move back to Seattle.

Her father was never around and for that she hated him for leaving and stopping all contact with them, but she chose to ignore it, walking to her old room. She set her bag down, locked the door and walked outside to find a bar or a club and to celebrate a new beginning.

-gftp-

After a long day of surgeries, in which he lost two patients, Derek Shepherd walked to the local bar and spotted a pretty blonde and sat down. While he was in the process of walking over to her, his phone rang. He looked at it, saw who it was and decided not to answer and sat down next to Meredith.

"Hi," he said, flashing his million dollar smile as he sat down and turned to Meredith. "I'm Derek, Derek Shepherd."

"Meredith Grey," she replied looking at Derek. "So buy me a drink," silently cursing herself for saying that.

"Straight to the point. I like that. What do you drink?"

"Coc-, I mean tequila, don't judge. I'm not into guys who judge."

"Well I don't judge. So I guess that makes you into me then."

"Maybe," said Meredith laughing.

"So, you do like me."

"I don't know. I think enough for being a one-night-stand, but not the whole date, tell you about my past thing where we pretend we care and it's not a one night thing. Sorry coming off of a very recent heartbreak where a guy that I really cared about cheated on me with this girl he met at a club. I would say slut, but she seemed nice and felt guilty enough for me to give her a chance."

"You know, if we ever dated, I wouldn't do that to you and I think you just told me about your past."

"Thanks. It's nice to know that there are some guys who are nice enough to say that."

After Meredith said that she paused and Derek took the opportunity to kiss her catching her off guard. Surprised she kissed him back.

"Your place or mine. Preferably yours because I just moved here and my house is a mess," said Meredith her head still spinning from the kiss.

Her head kept spinning as they drove to Derek's house and it didn't stop spinning until Derek reached for a condom in her purse and found a bag of cocaine.

After Derek found that she quickly redressed herself and drove home. Before she went to bed, she did a line of coke and tried to fall asleep, but it didn't come easy. She kept hearing the screams and the voice saying, "You scream, well I have this knife to stop you from finishing."

_And it's almost like_

_Your heavens trying everything_

_Your heavens trying everything to keep me out_

_Cause it's almost like_

_Your heavens trying everything to break me down_

**It only gets worse for Meredith from here, but then it gets better, which gives her a happy ending or maybe not. Leave a review or a suggestion, what you liked, didn't like.**


	3. Come Undone

**Content Warning**

**This story like I said on my profile contains graphic scenes of drug use, bulimia and even darker themes as this story progresses which include scenes of violence. For those reasons this story is rated M. If this triggers or upsets you, I would consider not reading this story. For those of you still reading, all I can say is enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Even though I would like to, I do not own Grey's Anatomy.**

**Song: Come Undone- My Darkest Days**

_Mine, immaculate dream_

_Made of breath and skin_

_I've been waiting for you_

_Signed with a homed tattoo_

_Happy birthday to you was created for you_

"What do you want from us?" said Meredith to the guys in front of her and Sadie.

"Deth, I think they want the drugs," replied Sadie, her voice shaking even though tried to hide it.

Before Meredith could say anything the two guys grabbed Sadie and her from behind and threw them in their car.

The two girls tried to scream, but the guys put their hands over their mouths and the taller one said, "You two scream, we have these knives to prevent you from finishing." After they said that, the shorter one pulled out a gun, but Meredith knocked it out of his hand and dug her nails into the other one's arm.

The taller one screamed and yelled, "Let go you little fucking whore," and punched Meredith in the face sending her backwards into a daze. She didn't notice the shorter one stealing the drugs from her and Sadie's pockets and wasn't fully aware until the two guys threw them off on the side of the road after shooting Sadie twice in the head.

Meredith woke up screaming from the old recurring nightmare, which was a flare up of her PTSD from the trauma. She tried to go back to sleep to no avail.

_I can't ever keep from falling apart at the seems_

_I cannot believe your taking my heart to pieces_

_Oh, it might take a little time_

_Might take a little crime to come undone now_

Derek crosses her mind and she thinks of the failure of the night before. She decided to call him and apologize, but before she could do that her phone rang.

"Hello," she said, not excepting that it was Derek who called her.

"Hi Meredith," he replied.

"Derek hi. I was just about to call you and apologize for last night, but you beat me to it," said Meredith laughing.

"In advance, I accept your apology. I was calling to ask you on a date tonight because I really like you, even though we just met."

"Thanks, and as for the date, I'll go. So, see you tonight."

Derek hung up and Meredith lay awake for a few more minutes until she got up and did some cocaine praying the crash would wear off before the date.

-gftp-

Meredith sat in her house ready for her date when Derek picked her up.

"Ok, are we ever going to talk about this," said Meredith as they got to the restaurant.

"What are we going to talk about," Derek replied.

"The thing you found in my purse."

"Oh that. What was it?"

"It was something that I was holding for a friend," said Meredith, using the oldest trick in the book as her alibi. Thankfully Derek didn't catch on to her bullshit and everything was going well. That is until a girl showed up and slapped Derek across the face.

"What the hell, Alex," Derek said shocked.

"As your girlfriend, you deserved that. Admit it, I caught you, you haven't nor will you ever change," said Alex visibly pissed. Turning to Meredith, she said, "Hi Alex Mason, and you must be the girl that my boyfriend is on a date with."

"Hang on, that girl is your girlfriend," Meredith said, trying to think. "You know what, fuck you," she said to Derek before leaving.

-gftp-

When Meredith got home she went to the kitchen and ate anything she could find before throwing it up, when her stomach felt like she was pregnant with food. After she did that she went to her bedroom, laid on the bed and cried at her stupidity for going on a date with a guy in a relationship. Finally after what seemed like hours of crying and doing cocaine to numb herself of her guilt, she fell asleep.

-gftp-

The next day, she decided to go to Derek's apartment to clear the air of everything that has been going on. She got on the elevator and at some point, Alex got on feeling the awkwardness of them being the only two on the elevator. Then the elevator stopped even though the power did not go out.

"Shit," Meredith thought. "I'm stuck on an elevator with Satan's whore, I happened to eat a lot before I came here, and I haven't done any coke all day. Fuck my life, just fuck it, fuck it, fuck it."

"So," said Alex. "Wonderful weather we're having."

"That's one way to break the ice," replied Meredith.

"Two girls with problems of the relationship variety in one room, or in this case elevator. This sounds like the beginning of something lesbian related."

"Yeah, it kind of does if you think about it. Look, Alex about Derek."

"I don't want to talk about him so save your apologies and shit because I need time to accept it. He was a notorious player when we first got together, but I kept going back to him because I cared about him so much. Something's and people never change."

"You know, I was just in your position as for being cheated on. Believe me it sucks, I actually went back to cocaine and bulimia to deal with it."

"Do you still do it, or did you stop."

"I stopped not too long ago," said Meredith completely lying.

"Since we're in the mood of revealing personal problems, I used to cut myself. I stopped a few years ago, and it's been hard ever since not to reach for my blade to kill my pain just for a moment."

"That must be a really hard thing to go through," said Meredith sighing before continuing. "I'm going to try with the apology thing again, and if you accept it, you accept it, if you don't, you don't."

"I guess I can accept it, but no hugging it out, we're not there yet."

After Alex said that, the elevator started and Derek got on after Meredith and Alex exited.

_We'll try to stay blind to the hope and fear outside_

_Hey child, stay wilder then the wind_

_Can blow me into cry _

_Who do you need_

_Who do you love_

_When you come undone _


End file.
